Friday, October 01, 2004
somehow e feeling of being devastated disappears as yrs pass... been failing since sec sch...so its nothing to fail tests... but not exams. since j1, exams started to c Fs n Os... soon got use to it too. but now, e feeling seems to b coming back. it suddenly dawned on me dat if others are getting e As n stuff... why aren't i? its true i haven't been working hard... but surely smth better den wat i'm getting bah...
i'm juz disappointed... As not far away, results arent' showing... tchers are saying e papers are A level standard...yet it still sucks. there are careless mistakes, causing me to get downgraded... by 2 grades. but the thing is even w/o careless mistakes... e grades aren't deem "quality" to tchers.. n sadly by myself too. although i've gotten use to e grades, seemingly unaffected by e grades... but deep down somewhere, there's always tis tiny hope of doing well. call it wishful thinking... but i can't help it.
in sch it doesn't seem dat bad cos u haf pple ard u to make u forget bout e sucky grades... pple to comfort u( if dat's of any use), at least pple to tok to. at hm... its juz radio, tv, com, walls. parents... though they are always there can never feel the same way. they juz don't know it. think its juz e gap. no matter wat... its there.
anw feeling realli tired of all these stuff, dun feel like going on anymore. e sort of rewards frm studying arent showing, or juz not enough to cover e disappointment. getting gd grades for a particular subj juz makes u happie for dat hr... dat period. after that, juz more blows. juz wonder how many more i can take before collapsing... will i stand up again? dat's a gd qn i wan to find out n need to find out.
actually i allocated myself 1 day to b sad. haha. its yest. juz tot of tis so i'll juz write it down 2dae. okay... everything shuld b ok le.. time to carry on, n start my crazy timetable.
"Make progress one time and it makes you happy. Make progress day after day, week after week and it makes you a champion."
ROXYfied
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
got back gp, maths n chem prac. oh well. juz e gd one, got a B for maths. that's an achievement for an always-fail-maths student like me. but anw, its an easy paper, so i suppose it ain't that great anw. e rest, well let's not tok bout it. i seriously doubt my learning abilities.
suck. bad mood. bloody pissed.
"I had rather do and not promise than promise and not do."
ROXYfied
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
shall update again. =). juz too bored at hm... last dae of freedom... cannot slip out for movies n wat knots after sch le... *sob*
anw had dress to impress 2dae. nearly culdn't get up cos had like 5 daes consecutive of waking up late n on some daes, afternoon naps! heez. tmr back to sch le. duno how i'm gg to survive. argh.. felt like all e exams are all over...no more studying... whopee. fat hope.
i'll sae dress to impress course wasn't as bad as i tot it wuld be. e trainer was damn gd. funny too. *clap clap* was quite useful oso, but e make up part is..argh... waste of time bah. juz looking. half e time duno wat she's saying. oh well, better not try anything... i'll definitely look like a clown. n u'll need to invest in those stuff too. too x. haha. rather spend it somewhere else...=)
after dat, went for lunch n later moveis. cinderella story. typical luv story. some obscure, unknow girl, wif like i'll sae, diff family backgrd falls in luv wif some mr popular of e sch. as usual, it'll b a happy ending. but there'll always b tis grp of ms populars, fighting to date e guy, getting jealous n e res... u noe it lah. n e girl, always will get maluated... n e whole sch will juz not like her...gossip bout her... wun sae its a bad show cos i luffed a lot. haha. realli need it these daes...
still haven't catch my man on fire. think i might juz go find vcd or smth after As... aww..sad.
tired le... v v v tired. butt hurts. damn. gg to slp. i crave for slp nowadays. haix. ciao.
"The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate."
ROXYfied
Monday, September 27, 2004
realli tired now. went to bake in e morn, den cycling at ecp.
supposed to make a cake for muikheng, but it turn out to look like e roads u c after an earthquake. lol. but it realli tasted gd. =) everyone said so, esp its e 1st time we did it anw. but in e end, bdae girl didn't cum. its a relief la... at least she didn't c dat erm, ugly looking thing. heez.
eemin learnt to ride. dat mingyang ah...tsk tsk. haha. but he promised xy dat he'll b able to cycle e nxt time he sees her. hehe, if not, she wun get married. lol. anw they keep asking who xy like. hehe, n onli i knew, but i culdn't sae...haha.. made a promise to her le mah. anw its hilarious la... cos e guy is... can't sae la. pple will c, n i'll b dead. =p
its gd to meet up wif e ntu-jc pple. =) its always fun, being wif another grp of pple... esp those dat u spent 5daes 4 nights wif. not to mention e slpless nights, trying to get e stuff out. realli miss those times. haha. no sch work! at all, totally zero. living wif ur frens, no parents. juz freedom~
think we'll always b meeting up. =) think we all enjoy it. n there'll always b organisers, n participants. although its a bit sad not everyone came, but still it more den half. glad dat we all try to make it~
"It is essential to our well-being, and to our lives, that we play and enjoy life. Every single day do something that makes your heart sing."
ROXYfied